For women over 40 who are done being the responsible one and ready to be the turned-on one. Letters on desire, pleasure and erotic self-trust, straight from my body to your inbox. Come in.
Apparently, I don't get to graduate. 😂
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There’s a particular kind of bullshit that happens when you teach people how to do something you’re still learning to do yourself. And apparently, I’m living it this week. 😂 So here’s the thing. I talk a LOT about the importance of sisterhood. About letting ourselves be supported. About the extraordinary things that can happen when women stop believing they have to do everything themselves. I believe every fucking word of it. And then my beautiful friend and podcast co-host Barbara started organizing something for me that involves other women showing up for me. And suddenly? OH NO. That’s too much. 😂😂😂 EXCUSE ME, MA’AM. DIDN’T YOU JUST TEACH A WHOLE FUCKING CLASS ABOUT THIS? Yes. Yes, I did. And that’s what makes this so interesting to me. Because I don’t actually have a problem believing that women deserve to be supported. I don’t have a problem celebrating another woman who’s being loved on, fussed over, cared for, adored. I fucking LOVE that. But when I’m the one on the receiving end? Suddenly I’m trying to make the whole thing easier for everybody. And here’s what I’ve been noticing: I can be deeply grateful for something and still be uncomfortable receiving it. Both can be true. And the discomfort doesn’t mean I need to make it stop. It means I get to practice staying right here while somebody loves me. Without managing the experience. Just… receiving. Which sounds so simple until you’re actually doing it. And THAT, my love, is the difference between knowing something and living it. Not because you finally understand it perfectly. But because you find yourself in the actual moment, feeling all the familiar impulses, and you choose to do something a little different. Even if you’re squirming the whole fucking time. These are my reps. And apparently, teaching the class does not exempt me from taking it. So I’m curious about something. What’s something you’re wonderful at giving other people, but have a much harder time allowing yourself to receive? Love? Attention? Help? Pleasure? Compliments? Care? Hit reply and tell me. I’d really love to know. With so much love, Marta 💋 P.S. Barbara and I went deep into the whole maddening business of knowing better and doing it anyway on this week’s Sensual Sisterhood podcast. Episode 41 is called You Know Better. So Why Are You Still Doing It? And yes, we both have some fucking homework. 😂 P.P.S. And if the part about letting other women show up for you hit a little close to home? Come find us inside Sensual Sisterhood. It’s a free space for women who want more connection, more pleasure, and more room to be themselves. You don’t have to figure out what you need before you walk in. 💋 |
Marvelus
For women over 40 who are done being the responsible one and ready to be the turned-on one. Letters on desire, pleasure and erotic self-trust, straight from my body to your inbox. Come in.
You know the moment. Someone asks where you want to go for dinner, and something in you lights up. The Thai place with the sticky tables and the chili that makes your lips burn. 🌶️ You can practically taste it. And then, before the words are even out, it happens. A little tightening at the base of your throat. A quick scan of their face. Your voice goes light and easy, and out comes, "Oh, I don't mind. Wherever you want." It takes about two seconds. Nobody notices. You barely notice. But your...
There's a moment a lot of women know and almost nobody talks about. Your body and your desire disagree. Sometimes your body is saying yes while the rest of you is quietly backing toward the door. Sometimes it's the reverse. You want him, you've wanted him all day, and your body just doesn't show up. And instantly, court is in session. Which one is telling the truth? What does this say about me? About him? About us? About my age? Most of us were handed a ridiculously simple rulebook for this....
Here's a very particular kind of maddening. You catch yourself mid-pattern. Saying yes when you meant no. Swatting away something lovely someone just said about you. Talking yourself out of a want before it's even finished arriving. And you're not confused about it. You could walk a stranger through the whole thing: where it came from, what it protects, why it stopped serving you years ago. You can see it clearly. You did it anyway. If you're anything like me, your next move is to go get more...